just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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