i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
