i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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