if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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