nut hugger
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize