RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
