Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
