Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wish i was in the wii world.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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