I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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