check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Randomize
