My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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