oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
