her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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