As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
