we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
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Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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