Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
