One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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