Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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