hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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