wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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