their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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