My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Randomize