i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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