i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
