I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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