Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
