Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize