I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
