I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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