we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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