i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
