Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
