Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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