Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
