Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
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