we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
