my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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