We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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