How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
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