I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
