Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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