I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
