So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
