I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
