some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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