How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize