She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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