You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
