i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
