i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
