but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
