He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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