He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
