I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
