plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
