I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
