Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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