my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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