i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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