Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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