Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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