reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I checked into jail on foursquare
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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