Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize